The Blue Nile ‘High’ (Sanctuary)

People imagine that bands like Genesis or Deacon Blue made music that only bank managers and accountants liked to listen to. Taking this a logical step further – The Blue Nile must actually be bank managers or accountants. This is the most boring record I have ever heard. Lyrically comatose, musically dead. Their first album in a while apparently. Shouldn’t have bothered lads. I don’t get the hour I wasted listening to this back y’know! I feel I should be able to sue. I would have compiled a list of stuff I would rather do than listen to this album again, but it would be infinitely long. The Blue Nile should change their name to The Poo Pile, withdraw all copies of ‘High’ from the shops, burn the master copies and stick to organising overdrafts. Utter shit.

words: Roger Hadwen

Cage & Tame 1 are. . . The Leak Brothers ‘Water World’ (Eastern Conference)

Despite sounding like a pair of sibling plumbers, The Leak Brothers is the union of two of Eastern Conference’s top MCs, Cage and Tame 1. Their debut album ‘Water World’ is the kind of moody, cinematic affair favoured by the underground hip-hop scene. With production contributions from the likes of RJD2 and El-P amongst others, there is enough diversity on offer including references to Snopp Dogg and Nirvana. The sharply delivered rhymes range from the darkly humourous (“people assuming I’m as high as Whitney Houston”) to drug-fuelled paranoia (“with every album I’m thinking posthumous release”). However the entire record is ruined by the continual reappearance of the intro voice-over that intrudes on verses, choruses, breakdowns and interludes. It’s a shame as it renders a decent record virtually unlistenable.

words: Colm Larkin

Embrace ‘Out of Nothing’ (Independiente)

There comes a point whilst listening to the latest outing from Embrace when you wonder if you weren’t actually listening to the original soundtrack to Baywatch instead. For younger readers (shouldn’t you be in bed) the music in Baywatch doesn’t come close to the standards of the hit-laden selection of The OC. So thinking maybe Embrace had tried out a Pink Floyd ‘Dark Side of the Moon’/‘Wizard of Oz’ drug-fuelled audio-visual experiment, I watched an episode of the show (how the video came to be in my possession a fortunate mystery) and the started the album at the third roar of David Hasselhoff’s masculinity. Sure enough it all ties in. From the adrenaline-pumping opening adventure of ‘Ashes’, with its chanting chorus straight from the football terraces, to the slow motion emotion of the hopeful ‘Glorious Day’: it all fits. To be fair the final two tracks are a vast improvement but by then you are so full of cheesy soft rock you can hardly appreciate them. The universe was created out of nothing; this album is a damning indictment of that universe.

words: Colm Larkin

Hayseed Dixie ‘Let There Be Rockgrass’ (Cooking Vinyl)

The legend behind Hayseed Dixie has a stranger crashing his car in the isolated, untouched heartland of bluegrass, Appalachia. All that survives is a box of old vinyl that a band of musicians find whilst attempting to identify the deceased, mostly containing the works of an obscure band called AC/DC. With only an old gramophone that plays at 78rpm at their disposal, the band find a new style of country music and begin to play the songs in memory of the stranger. Like most legends this one is apocryphal but why let the truth get in the way of a good time. This is ‘Let There be Rockgrass’, the debut album from Hayseed Dixie. They look like inbred hillbilly zombies – re-intarnation if you will – they play bluegrass covers of AC/DC, Kiss, the Darkness, Aerosmith, Motorhead, Queen and others. It is hilarious, accomplished and utterly baffling. One of the original tracks has the plaintive vocal, “I’m keeping your poop in a jar / till the day you come back / so I don’t forget just what you are”. See what I mean? For a British version try ‘Never Mind the Bullocks’ by the Wurzels.

words: Roger Hadwen

Juana Molina ‘Tres Cosas’ (Domino)

Argentinean singer-songwriter Juana Molina used to star in a hit comedy television show in her native country before hanging up the joke book to pursue her first love, music. There’s hardly a trace of humour (though granted my limited Spanish means many of the gags may be passing me by) in her lo-fi, downbeat third album. There is also not much of the ‘world music’ sound you might expect from someone whose previous album ‘Segunda’ won a host of World Music awards in the States. The only obvious Latin influence is seen on the prevalent classical guitar, but ‘Tres Cosas’ has more in common with the glacial electronica of Sigur Ros than Manu Chao. Dub beats, spacey fx, and her slight, dreamy voice create an atmosphere that verges on the claustrophobic at times. At times it’s both disconcerting and compelling, like hearing a ghost singing nursery rhymes on the wind. If icy soundscapes and crisp songs are your thing Molina’s voice should lure you in to her enveloping music.

words: Colm Larkin

The Zillions ‘Play Zig-Zag Zillionaire’ (679)

Not so long ago I wrote about a mini-album by an Australian folky called M.Craft, and it was pleasing to my ear. Mr Eyeball then asked me if I’d like to listen to another mini-album by M.’s little brother. “What’s his name – N.?” I quipped. “Yes”, came Mr Eyeball’s reply, “but the band is called the Zillions”. Well, N. has clearly listened to his brother’s stuff and thought, “Bollocks, I can do much better than this!” and quickly dashed off a melange of early Teenage Fanclub, My Bloody Valentine and Flaming Lips. The lo-fi production sweeps me back to 1988, the fuzzy distorted strumming, faint yet beguiling melodies and sixth-form poetry lyrics (“take some blue to make a sky / then take some silver for a cloud”) combining to capture a time long past. That particular lyric is from the opener, ‘Don’t Waste Your Tears On Me’. It later occurred to me that the tune is lifted lock, stock and barrel from church hymn ‘Jerusalem’, so that made me like it even more. N. mixes his styles: all angry/quiet on ‘Your Eyes’, then quirky Lips pop on ‘Step into the Sun’. The bobbly bass of ‘Raincoat Gi-lz’ provides another highlight. I can picture N., sat in his Melbourne room, adorned much like mine was 15 years ago, with posters of his favourite, worthy bands. The Zillions have produced a charming museum piece – a homage. The only question is, why? There were enough doomed copyists then – what chance do the Zillions have now?

words: Roger Hadwen

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