Every once in a while, an album comes along that blows the mind, with a refreshing originality and groundbreaking style that makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck; an album that keeps you hooked from start to finish and makes you want to play it again and again. You’ve guessed it – this is definitely not one of those albums.

If there is one type of music I really cannot stomach, it is the ultra commercial teeny orientated post-grunge pretend ‘punk’ drivel that is unfortunately so prevalent today. And this album is a prime example. The irritating, hook laden riffs, the sounds-so-much-like-everyone-else vocals and the angsty, whinging “I wish she was my girlfriend”-type lyrics are all perfectly attuned to induce the sort of rage that leaves CDs in fragments on the floor and speakers kicked in. I really did not like this album, even the cover looks rubbish.

On a more positive note, I was impressed that this is the work of a two-piece band – Tyson Ritter (crazy name, crazy guy no doubt) supplying all vocals and bass with Nick Wheeler on guitars/drums/keyboards/programming. I can’t wait to see them live – I can only presume the guy has the drums strapped to his back (a la Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins), strumming the guitar while operating the keyboard with his feet.

Safe bet this album will be a success – first single ‘Swing Swing’ is “nothing short of brilliant” according to Rock Sound, and perplexingly “stunning” according to heavy metal bible Kerrang. Unless the complete sentence was “It is stunning that an album this awful ever made it onto the pages of Kerrang”, then times have definitely changed since the days of Anthrax and Iron Maiden. If you’ve got spiky hair, massive silly trousers and a hooded top, under sixteen and think you’re a ‘punk’, this album is for you. For me, though, The All American Rejects have more in common with Popstars than the Pistols, and I cannot make my opinion of this album any clearer without being offensively rude. [i.e. it’s cuntingly fucking shite].

words: Harry Harris